the curse of the blog

I’m cursed. I’m 100% cursed. This is why I’ve never updated a blog more than twice. I was, (unknowingly) AVOIDING A CURSE!!!!!

Now that I have a venue to tell stories my life has given me stories. And, mostly, they are inconvenient. Or annoying. Or ridiculous. And we have taken to referring to it as ‘the curse of the blog.’

For instance: the water was turned off the other day. That was a treat. When I tried to turn it on it sputtered and went all crazy until it just…didn’t do anything.

It was immediately in this moment that I realized how thirsty I was. How I was going to die if I didn’t have any water and I hadn’t filled up the cup of water on my nightstand and I drank my water bottle and oh my god I am going to die of thirst right now.

THEN we went to this restaurant we’ve been to before because they have 7 jager shots for 12 euros. That is literally the only reason anyone should go there ever because the place sucks. The second time we decided to get food. It’s a tempting place because out front they have a menu and it’s like ALL AMERICAN FOOD. And we miss American food! We miss it so much!

So I look at the menu. It says ‘Nachos with chili.” NACHOS WITH CHILI! I want that!!! I want that so bad!!!! So I order it.

What do I get?

WHAT DO I GET?????

I LITERALLY GOT nacho cheese DORITOS with a little thing of CHILI SAUCE!!!!!!! I could have died. CURSE OF THE BLOG!!!!!

I begrudgingly ate them, kind of, but I’ve hated doritos ever since we had an assignment to do that stupid superbowl ad thing and I ate probably 34209889483942 of them. And…chili sauce. I just can’t. Ugh. UGHHHHH.

Unless they are cool Americans. I love those. Here I am being a cool American eating cool Americans.

But yah. We’re never going back there. Ever.

Oh yah and the mouse. That little a-hole. Dani and I were watching our shows the other day on the little couch in the living room and I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

I’ve developed like serious hunter instincts and stuff with my COCKROACH HUNTING in Miami. I can’t really decide which is worse. But probably the cockroaches because those things are RELENTLESS and multiply and are disgusting and ugh. Miami.

Anyways. It’s bright in the room. We’re watching shows. Lights on. Sitting RIGHT THERE. And the little bastard just runs around!!

The nerve.

So now, I am fueled even more. I can’t wait to kill him. Poison him. Trap him. I just need someone to tell me where to go to get this stuff because I just don't get the stores here. I miss CVS. I miss Walgreens. I miss it all.

BUT I found basically the equivalent of Target (ish) so the world won't implode...thank god.

Anyways, the mouse will die soon.

Oh and Dani fell up the stairs the other day at a department store while she was quoting ‘jizz in my pants.’

That’s probably not the curse of the blog but it is seriously hilarious. I just kept walking. Hahahaahahahahahah.

Anyways. I feel like there is more…but I can’t remember. Things have been wild. Lots of thinking. Lots of pitching. Will talk more about that one day.

Can’t wait to watch the bachelor tomorrow. A day after all of you. F MY LIFE. I might post my thoughts up here next round but…I don’t even make the effort to memorize girls names until it looks like they are gonna stick around.

Also I gotta write up about the portions here. I get the whole thing about how fat America is with our big portions and bags of food and etc. But this. THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I’ll starve here. I mean it. I will.

But if I don't, I’ll update you.

xo Tay