i'm turning 24

It feels really old.

I’m about to get real deep and reflective here so I apologize to those that tune in to me for funny (I’m funny right???) rants on things, but, we all gotta be a little wise and reflective sometimes. Cause like, wouldn’t it be super weird anyways if I was just always funny and never serious and it would be like I don’t get that girl does she like sleep with a sarcastic smile on??????? (I don’t. I drool. It’s gross.)

I got off message.

I promise I’m not trying to be dramatic. I know that, in the scheme of things, 24 isn’t ~really~ old. But it kind of bummed me out honestly. I felt like 23 went by so fast and it mostly consisted of me being insanely busy and I don’t think of 24 as a very interesting age (there isn’t a Taylor Swift song about it.) Then, I sat down and realized that it IS a defining age. For me at least.

There comes a point in everyone’s life where you have to rid yourself of toxins.  Trim the fat. The type of toxins I’m specifically speaking about right now are of the human kind.

And, that point, for me, is now. As I turn 24.

Now, the type of people I’m speaking of: the toxic ones: these are the kind of people that make you anxious, self conscious, or unhappy. Or all three. They are the type of people that know they do this but don’t rescue you from it. They provide no type of reassurance at all. Or maybe they're flakes. They make a promise and ignore it. They get your hopes up and leave them there. They are the type of people that you put so much faith into…because you remember a time when this wasn’t the case...but they let you down. Time and time again.

And you know that when you think about them you can think of 5 of your other friends that don’t do that to you at all. That don’t make you second guess anything. Those that sense an inkling of second guessing and come to your rescue without you having to say anything. The supportive ones. The real ones. The type of friends that are…friends.

The others ones…their actions…they may be out of cowardice, or it may just be an overall lack of maturity. God knows we all mature at a different rate and I mean while I’ll still laugh at a good fart joke…like seriously laugh…like cackle and retell it or maybe tweet it…I would never turn a blind eye to a friend that needs me. Ever.

And maybe they’re going to change one day… but on that note can I get a collective “ain’t nobody got time for that.”????????

During a recent discussion a friend’s dad said “The Golden Rule is to treat others as you wish to be treated…but the Platinum Rule is to treat them as they wish to be treated.”

So, as friends, can’t we do that? Can’t we try to treat others in a way that makes them happy? I’ll be the first to say that sometimes it isn’t possible…but….effort. Effort big or small is always recognized, and it is always appreciated.

So in light of this revelation I’m making a promise: that 24 year old Tay will put (more) effort into everything I do. Into saying hello, into keeping in touch, into making sure I am not the reason someone feels bad and if I get the inkling that something like this still happened, I will put in effort to resolve.

A few things to think about:

Einstein/NA/It’s origin is debated…said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Another quote with debatable origin: Actions speak louder than words.

The thing is that in my case words have always been my tools…and weapons. So, in this case. I want both.

All of it.

Action and Word.

I promise that for my 24^th year I’m gonna trim the fat. (I also mean this literally because I’m not gonna lie I took liberties with the winter: burgers and sandwiches and cheese holla!) But that’s a whole other ball game.

So I’m also gonna trim the fat by the company I keep.  The people I make time for. Because how much can you put effort in without receiving effort back? How many times can you do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

Sounds kind of insane.

And insanity is so not a good look. Like, it sounds like something that would make me look pale, and ugh, you all know I hate that.

So I’m going for 3 P’s this year. And Pale isn’t one of them. Instead, we’re talking about Protection, Progression, and Perseverance.

1.  Protection

I will trim the fat of the things that make me unhappy. Was I serious dealing with that anyways???? If it makes you unhappy…just cut the shit. Straight up. Cut the shit right out because what are we doing??? We need to be head up, alert, protecting ourselves.

2.  Progression

I’ll move on. From personal disappointments, from goals unmet: all goals from monetary to physical to professional: like advertising campaigns I spent hours, days, or weeks on crushed in front of my face.

And I’ll keep on z’ing going because what the z? Why have I even spent so much time talking about this terrible bullshit? It’s a serious bummer.

But guess what? We all have serious bummers. So, I’ve decided to kick my current ones to the curb for my 24^th year-so if you’ve got trash to take out I would be glad to take it, because the golden and platinum rules don’t work if we set ourselves up so that we ‘tolerate’ our shitty situations and give off a vibe that says ‘Yes, I like being treated this way.” Or, I like treating myself this way.

So come on guys, glasses in the air with me to celebrate MY 24th year as well as YOUR new year starting now. I’m setting one commandment. It’s versatile.

Thou Shalt Not Settle.

Real talk. You aren’t settling. You aren’t settling when Wendy’s forgot to put mustard on your burger even though you repeated it 50 times get your ass up there and get that mustard!!!! (…totally not trimming the fat.)

You aren’t settling for being talked down to. If someone speaks to you in a way you dislike you’re going to tell them. You don’t have to be a dick about it-actually-it’s more effective if you aren’t. But, you aren’t going to let them speak to you like that.

And you aren’t settling for a constant letdown. You aren’t settling for unhappiness kept afloat by a vague promise. You aren’t settling for promises that hold no weight.

You aren’t settling for anything less than happiness.

And if you’re trying for it the same way over and over…that’s insane. And the only insanity I will allow is:

Insane happiness.

So, to everyone that asks me how I feel about turning 24?

I feel insanely happy.

And I hope you do too.

xo tay